There is a joyful sadness that has settled in over my heart this day as I watched my mother who has reached the grand age of 91 struggle with her words in her attempts to share her thoughts. She openly admits her frustration at not being able to speak what is on her mind. Is this what we have to look forward to as we age is the question I ponder this night.
I think the hardest part is each time I come to visit her memory is slowly disappearing. Today was likely the hardest as she struggled to remember who I was. Over the years I have been told that I ressemble my Dad in many ways. It has been 6 yeas since he passed away. Today as Mom looked deeply at me and traced her hands over my features she saw Dad in me and broke out in tears many times and called me by his name. It is comforting to know there is still some recognition there for the man she spent 63 years with as a married couple.
For those of you who know me my childhood was not the best and my relationship with Mom was strained at times and yet there was a mutual understanding of love, especially over the past several years. Tonight as I have been thinking of this I realize her concern was over my welfare was all she had during those hard years. You see I certainly drifted of of the expected life path for several years. There were many prayers lifted for me during those years. In 2000 I finally found the way I had been searching for and gave my life to the Lord.
I recall many a prayer as a child where Mom and Dad would pray that God grant them a son or daughter who would become a priest or a nun. It was to happen but not in the faith they had been raised in. I was ordained as a Pastor a few years later and led both of them to the Lord. Even today as I was visiting I took Mom out to listen to a gospel group singing and found the memory may be slipping but the spirit that lives within Mom is still alive and well as she sang some old familiar hymns.
For those who have seen the loss of memory of a parent I know it is hard to witness. Take peace in knowing deep inside they understand and wait for those moments od clarity when they speak of what really is within. It is those times where we can find peace and be filled with joy.
© Rolly A. Chabot
Life is getting back to somewhat of a normal pace again after some time away. It is good to be home and in the comfort of te familiar. I think all of us are creatures of habit really and habit is where we find peace. Not that I do not like adventure and all but it is always nice to snuggle into a familiar bed.
I have created a free download link for a novel the first in a two book series called “Smoothwolf” It is the first in a two part novel series centered around the life and times of a young Blackfoot Native man named Wes Nickel who has seen his share of terrible things in life. Through his own great efforts he has overcome and created a life he can be proud of. Follow along in the journey and I do hope you enjoy.
The link will be active until Friday. Please feel free to download this copy.
If you do not own a Kindle you can download a Kindle app to your computer and read it there. I hope you enjoy… Blessings and Hugs from Canada and I would love your feedback.
Amazon.com: Rolly A. Chabot: Books, Biography, Blog, Audiobooks, Kindle
Visit Amazon.com’s Rolly A. Chabot Page and shop for all Rolly A. Chabot books and other Rolly A. Chabot related products (DVD, CDs, Apparel). Check out pictures, bibliography, biography and community discussions about Rolly A. Chabot
While sitting last night watching the setting sun and listening to the surf I found my mind drifting to those places where people have hurts. We are much like the tides of the ocean really. Each day is different for us all. There are days when we are filled with joy. Others maybe reflective and others when we feel defeated and filled with a sense of almost nothingness.
People come and go from our lives. Some take from us and give little in return. Often they take a part of us as they leave. It is that same part we search for and struggle in our attempts to take the positive and leave the negative behind. As a Christian I believe in something called Soul Ties. We make them with people on a daily bases with a simple hello and or when relationships are formed. It is when we give a portion of ourselves to others and we take a portion of them onto ourselves. Soul Ties are more profound when a sexual relationship has taken place. Where you have given a portion of yourself to another and you have as well taken a portion of them onto yourself.
The good news is they can be broken with a few simple words. By asking that all portions of yourself be returned to you. You as well need to ask that all you have taken from the other be returned to them. There are many good sites on the subject one I would recommend is from a lady named Terri at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgPi_UkXXJM
Nature is a great healer for me. It has taken some of the hardest things in life and brought much joy for me. Maybe that explains why I have been a loner the better part of my life. Social yes and yet there are those days when I need to separate and just be myself. Take the time to just sit and rest today and get to know yourself again. Above all else forgive yourself and know that you are dearly loved by all whom you touch in life. I have no idea why I have written this today but I have and I do hope there is some comfort that comes with reading these few simple words.
Hugs from Canada… © Rolly A. Chabot